About This is a blog about humor, games, some thoughts. It started as a place to post some puns that me and a few friends had drawn. Until then they had been plastered on our toilet wall at the mercy of 'misfires'. Eventually though, we stopped doing the pictures but I continued to post other random stuff here. Previous
Contact I have access to elecronic mail, at the address K1NKLADE at GMA1L dot COM. Oh by the way the 1's are i's... I'm trying to unsuccessfully outwit the spam Previous
I keep finding sites in my cyber travels that inform me of various facts about Mr Barack Obama. Well given the matter some extensive research I am now able to offer you, the streetwise reader with this (abridged) list of 10 Obama facts that are 100% OF FACT
all the FACTS are definitely guaranteed, and will make you the life and soul of any party. As long as the people you tell them to are particularly dim, or are from Bristol or something.
1. Obama’s most prize possession is his signed Christopher Eccleston photograph, which he keeps under his pillow every night
2. Obama’s favourite band is Iron Maiden, he owns all of their albums
3. Obama boasts a collection of 209 Doctor Who figurines, all of Christopher Eccleston. His obsession with Eccleston stretches to having posters in the Oval office of 28 days later and Shallow Grave; in which Eccelston boasts lead roles.
4. To date Obama’s greatest achievement since gaining office is having introduced America’s only website: Red hot XXX Barack action. He is known to be pleased with the alliteration in the name
5. Barack Obama is a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise and hopes to retire to Endor and become an ewok
6. Obama’s meteoric rise in politic is thanks to earning early fame with his number one smash: I walk the line. He spent many years battling drug abuse, and fighting depression from having neglected to save his brother from sawing himself in half in a lumber yard; an accident for which his father still hasn’t forgiven him.
7. Obama controversially prefers vanilla ice-cream over chocolate
8. Obama has tried most drugs, and claims that his favourite is cocaine because of its notorious ‘buzz’
9. When running for president Barack became extremely nervous and ate only Mexican food. He gained over 250 pounds (18 stone) due to his unhealthy eating habits. Once learning of his victory he immediately scheduled liposuction surgery to appear healthy to the press.
10. Obama is often mistakenly thought to come from Hawaii, in actuality he was the first man to settle the island after its discovery in 1984. He was born and raised in Tokyo
a lot of people might say that video games are a waste of time, and that little of value comes from them. Well aside from all the hopeful scientific research that claims that it increases awareness or some bollocks, I think occasionally it does have a very real impact on your life. Well one did for me.
for example when I saw the game guitar hero, I vowed that I would never spend time mastering a game like that. The reason being that I have been on and off playing guitar for a number of years, and would feel better playing the real guitar instead!
One hung-over Saturday morning however, my housemate buys the game… and predictably I play it, and get a little hooked. I even got to a respectable standard on a few songs.
Here is me playing raining blood by Slayer:
But one day I casted it aside! no more! I thought, purchased a new guitar* and began to practice.
Here is a picture of me practicing:
I feel much better about it. But recently wondered why a desire to not want to waste time mastering a game, but do it for real was only limited to guitar hero?
I have played a lot of GTA. perhaps I should have stopped wasting my time and take my criminal ways to the streets! After all you start off with less money in that game than I have now… What about counter strike? I think maybe I should join up with some terrorists as a part of my new Grand Theft Auto style lifestyle.
Obviously I don’t get do-overs, saves and things like that, but then I have already had a lot of practice at the games so I wont need them, right?
If there are no more posts on this blog you can rest assured that I have finally realised my dream of forcing fantasy into reality.
* Every time I had been poor up until now my guitar had been turned into food with the cunning use of ebay
Some things make you chuckle and simultaneously crap your pants
Recently sat in the office minding my own business, looking at some porn work when some wierd looking guy marches in saying they have a delivery for someone.
When that person is identified he marches over and throws the box in their face, shouting and being generally abusive. This person gets out of his chair and is backing away with a small wet patch appearing between their legs… considering writing about it in their blog later… I imagine… err – obviously it wasn’t me… LOL! I’m far too tough to cower…
anyway:
Turns out he was wearing a mask, the dude used to work with the company. A hilarious prank!!
Laughter and blushes ensue. There is footage of the guy doing a few other people he knows in the building & about town here:
Punarama presents: How to make system testing a fun and action packed experience in your working day**
LOLROOMS
* about as famous as a dead bee
** your working day must include some system testing for this sentence to be applicable. If it isn’t applicable to you, maybe read: Stupid names to give boring things
Here is something which I had until now been unaware had it’s own theory. Put ‘lol’ into any sentence and you will remove any credibility from it:
- Officer! I need to report a very serious assault, LOL!
- I’m sorry to inform you that on this occasion you have failed the test (lol)
- LOL – It’s worse than that, he’d dead Jim!
- Will you marry me? PMSL
- I am dreadfully sorry we are going to have to amputate your right arm LOLOLOL
I guess the same would be true for actually blurting out with laughter – nevertheless this theory is awesome… and will be worming its way into my life from now on. However! It must not be used in vain… I shall explain:
I overheard the conversation a couple of kids were having on the bus the other day, which contained several instances of the word ‘lol’. Of course I have used it myself before now – I’m only human after all… but I used it more in a trendy ‘post modern’ sort of way – not rubbishly, like these snot nosed little punks were using it.
LOL, ROFL, and other initialisms have crossed from computer-mediated communication to face-to-face communication. Teenagers now sometimes use them in spoken communication as well as in written, with ROFL (pronounced /ˈroÊŠfÉ™l/ or /ˈrÉ’fÉ™l/) and LOL (pronounced /ˈloÊŠl/, /ˈlÉ’l/, or /ˌɛloʊˈɛl/), for example. David Crystal—likening the introduction of LOL, ROFL, and others into spoken language in magnitude to the revolution of Johannes Gutenberg’s invention of movable type in the 15th century—states that this is “a brand new variety of language evolving”, invented by young people within five years, that “extend[s] the range of the language, the expressiveness [and] the richness of the language”. Commentators disagree, saying that these new words, being abbreviations for existing, long-used, phrases, don’t “enrich” anything; they just shorten it.
Those pesky kids with their jeans and sneakers
So in summary, get using abbreviations! in five years we will be that much more effective at communication due to its brevity, which will also be (questionably) enriched!
but no using ‘fyi’ in sentences – we’re not in the 20th century any more – losers.
Epilogue
it pleases me that wikipedia has an article for lolz
Not so long ago when I was a student we used to have a little game* in our flat, where if anyone mentioned tea they would instantly have to make it for everyone in the room. This generally resulted in nobody making tea just because they wanted some, but instead trying to force somebody else to say tea instead… by using some evil conversational trickery.
If you ever happen to find yourself in a similar situation, you can be assured of one easy win… Strike up a conversation with something like “hey! remember what was great? The A team!”
As people smile and reminisce, you can tell them of your favourite characters, Hannibal, Face, Murdock but… (cue a puzzled, forgetful expression) Who else was there? What was that other guys name…
This post is for all you blog nazis that have been emailing me to say I don’t post enough puns for a pun related site* You will have to forgive my inane ramblings or attempts to be humerous
ramblings… hmm…..
RAMBLING
that’s right kids. lols and roffles are in order
* Ok it was one email. It also didn’t really say I didn’t post enough puns – it said something about my water rates… In fact I might be thinking of a letter, or post it note or something like that
